Everything I Already Know about Gardening

Things I already know going into the Master Gardener program.
  • IMG_1641

    Prostrate Spurge (Euphorbia maculata) moved in after I killed the crab grass. Sigh

    Gardening is a misnomer. It should be called weeding.

  • My lawn is my garden. I’m not proud of that; I’m just saying.
  • Everything that is not grass, no matter how green, is a weed. Scientific fact.
  • Every weed you want to identify cannot be found in any plant guide or even on the Google. Especially on the Google.
  • Corollary: Weeds in books and on the Google look much healthier than mine.
  • For every weed you pull, there are two you missed.
  • Corollary: Mowing after you weed just make obvious how many weeds you missed.
  • For every species of weed your herbicide kills, there is another one waiting to blow in.
  • Corollary: Herbicides show just how extensive your weed patch is … when the weeds die leaving a big open space with nothing growing, except a new species of weed. (See photo caption.)
  • It’s easier to pull weeds early in the morning when there is dew on the ground. Also cooler.
  • Of all the weeds, crab grass is the least offensive. At least it has grass in its name.
  • Weeds really make your lawn look green.
  • At some point, you just have to move on. So move on. There’s always next season.
 Master Gardener classes begin Sept. 13 and, oh, the things you and I will learn together.

2 thoughts on “Everything I Already Know about Gardening

  1. Maybe a certain Senator from Texas could help you “carpet bomb” those weeds. That may do the trick!

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