There’s the book we will tackle in the Master Gardeners program. A four-inch thick binder. A baker’s dozen shy of 600 pages. Weighs about — well, I’ll need a backpack with heavy shoulder straps.

I borrowed it from a member of last year’s class, just to see what I was getting into.

Grad school. It reminds me a lot of grad school, which makes me wonder what the heck I’m doing here.

The last time I ventured into grad school was … well, a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. I was adding Mandarin Chinese to the list of languages I cannot speak. (It’s quite a long list.)

So, here’s the TOC (table of contents) and how I think I’ll do with each section:

1. Basic Botany — Worrisome. Very worrisome.
2. Soils & Fertilizer — Good. I like dirt.
3. Basic Entomology — Not good. Not even sure I know what it is, and that bugs me.
4. Plant Pathology — Could be deadly for me.
5. Diagnosing Plant Damage — Good. It’s broke. (It doesn’t saying anything about fixing.)
6. Pesticide Use & Safety — Good. Aim sprayer away from face.
7. Plant Propagation — Good. I like propagation … and dirt.
8. Pruning — Good. Watch out for fingers.
9. Indoor Plants — Not so good. Not so interested.
10. The Vegetable Garden — Should be okay. I like most vegetables.
11. Fruits in the Home Garden — Ditto.
12. Lawns — Judging from my lawn, this could be a challenge.
13. Selection, Use, and Care of Woody Plants — The spirit is willing …
14. Herbaceous Plants — Probably not so good. I don’t do well with herbs.
15. Landscape Design — Yeah, fail. More of a word guy.
16. Water Quality & Conservation — Definitely interested but erosion is a problem.
17. Welcome to VCE Master Gardening! — If I get this far …

Stay tuned.